Attachment-Based Family Therapy 

What is attachment-based therapy?

This form of therapy grew from various mental health modalities and philosophies that focus on the individual and the family system.  John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory inspired and influenced Attachment-Based Family Therapy (ABFT).  This theory posits that humans have an inherent biological desire to form meaningful relationships and seek to establish them from the earliest moments of life.

The ability to map and interpret the health and foundational aspects of a teen’s relationship with their parent(s) is essential to addressing their mental health issues.  ABFT is trust-based and emotion-focused psychotherapy that focuses on improving family relationships by addressing and tending to the individual needs of each member of the family.

The nature and tone of a parent’s relationship with their child is foundational to understanding their temperament, emotional intelligence and behavior as they grow throughout childhood, adolescence and into adulthood.

This form of therapy reduces a range of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and gestures by repairing ruptured parent-child bonds.

The approach focuses on interpersonal development

Framing therapy to focus on interpersonal development is a significant goal.  As an ABFT therapist, I shift the focus away from problematic symptoms and toward the improvement of the parent-child relationship.  The first goal of treatment is to discover what damaged the trust in the relationship.

I will build an alliance with your struggling child during individual sessions, where I will learn about their strengths and interests and build a healthy working relationship with them.  I am skilled helping young people understand and articulate the ruptures and tensions between themselves and their parents; and at helping them achieve a deeper and more empathic understanding of their parents’ lived experiences as individuals and as moms and dads.

Next, I create an alliance with parents through sessions with and without their child or children. I strive to build trust and connection by helping parents access their empathic instincts in a supported space.  This work will focus on developing strategies for managing and positively affecting your child’s behavior; but will also necessarily explore and consider their underlying wounds and the often unmet needs they are attempting to communicate.

Parents also often explore their own attachment styles, which emerged from their childhoods.  This process of exploration and deep reflection often reveals fascinating links and insight into the more unconscious forces at work within a family system.  Through this process, I help families rediscover the depth and significance of their relationships with one another and how best to understand the reason (s) for the struggles they face.

Facilitating conversations to resolve attachment ruptures is the central mechanism of ABFT.  When teens and parents are ready (sometimes at the initial session and sometimes further into the therapy process), I bring them together to discuss the presenting concerns.  While your teen expresses his or her grievances maturely and calmly, I encourage and support parents to express empathy and understanding – laying the groundwork for a securely attached relationship.

Gaining autonomy and independence is essential

Promoting autonomy and competency in the adolescent (personal mastery) directly links a teenager’s personal mastery and self-esteem.

The final phase of ABFT helps teens find appropriate autonomy and independence. I encourage teens to socialize and pursue activities outside the home, which is central to a young person’s empowerment and confidence.

At the same time, I guide parents to support their children and allow them to make their own choices and take responsibility for their behaviors.

Let’s discuss how ABFT can help your teenager.